He Says

“One promise” he says holding tightly to my body. That of a bird eying a predator to close for comfort, my heart pounds. Closing my eyes I do not want to hear what he has to whisper. The words are sharp with jagged edges tearing into my emotions. Soft his voice asking me to look at him, like my eyes are the gate keepers to believing his words, clutching my hands into fist, trying to cradle my head in his chest concentrating on the fast passing rise and fall, tears well up under my skin. “I do love you” he breaths into my ears. This I already know. Faint my heart stutters’, but this is not what hurts. He is so new at this. It’s his love that is hurting me. So much of him I’m falling for and with him just as deep if not deeper by now is what I fear. The kiss of death he has just spoken. What have I done is racing inside. The words are clawing at me to reach my breath. Faster my chest tries to hold it in short pace I’m grasping to keep control. Nearly at a panic my head is screaming. “Do not say it back! You’ll be lying!”An eternity is passing waging the battle inside. My torment. Clutching to not push my body away my eyes steel bars holding them shut my mind believing in not of the reality. “Not Real, Not Real Not Real” I scream at myself. Whit shaking harder than a tremble, my heart pounds my entire body in each beat forces his image throughout my mind. Breaking into tears I speak his doom I tell him the truth “I love you.” No, No, No, in every tear that rages out from my eyes. For a moment I feel not my own, but…… His tears lining up with mine. But why begins to hold for a moments question? What have you done are now screaming so loud my ears begin to ring from the inside out. My heart has now realized it truths, of what it has said out loud, not only to me but worse to him as well. Now both release the dangerous emotions that can very well kill one of us if not both by tomorrows end. The truth falls heavy this is the last time I will be here. With a slow calming my mind sets forth plains, to end this. Soft whispers my mind eases my heart and begins to explain the damage it has caused. Shaking my head to block out the sadistic humor my mind finds pleasuring in this moment, I fall under the guilt the heart now encased in and try only to capture every moment every detail of him that will stay in my memory forever. His taste, skin, lips freckles, will never fade away.